"Absent-Minded Love"

Sittin’ in a sandpit,
Life is a short trip,
The music’s for the sad man.

You were five when we first met. A baby in your arms, you held me.
From the genesis of my being, you were with me. I am often referred to as a ‘Tomboy’. Well all thanks to you! You taught me to play football, and helped me hold the bat when we played cricket. I have lost count of the number of times we broke the altar and other stuff at home. You would take me ‘doubles’ on your bike, while I was still working on my tricycle skills. Then you held my bike as I learned to ride the one without ‘guard’ wheels. I still vaguely remember the day I came home from my last day at kindergarten, it was your last day at school too. You carried me and swung me around, ‘Exams are over, yayy, let’s play!’ you said. Remember the times we’d sneak into mama’s cookbooks and royally screw up a recipe! I enjoyed every part of being with you. Then I moved to primary school. You graduated to secondary. We hardly had any time together.
By the time I was 12, you left home to make a life of your own. You left me with your little brother. Way too much time went by. You left while I was still in t-shirts and shorts. Eventually I learned to live without you. You’d come back every once in a while and try to fill yourself in on everything that went on in my life. It was tough. You had your studies, and I had mine.

Then you graduated and came home. I was proud of you, I still am. I knew you wouldn’t stay long, and I know you can’t help it. It’s the nature of your life now. You came back and couldn’t believe your eyes. You expected to see me still wearing your overgrown t-shirt and shorts. Well I grew up too. You couldn’t handle the fact that I had now moved on to short skirts, girl t-shirts, skinny jeans and the like. I stopped playing sports, I started liking boys. You loved me still. You felt the need to protect me, from crazy men, and heartbreaking boys!

You taught me so much including physics, math and chemistry, both scientific and romantic. Then we started fighting, for the first time ever. It’s ironic because I don’t remember fighting since after I turned six. I said the meanest things to you, and I don’t even remember now what you did to deserve that. I knew you would have to go eventually, but I just expected it to take some time. So I kept taking for granted the little time I had with you. But somehow through all our fights, we never had to utter that coveted word ‘Sorry’, because you and I both knew that we were forgiven, for anything we did to the other. That was the closeness. You’d just come around and make me laugh when I was so mad at you. Subconsciously I just sort of expected you to stick around. Somehow you fill home with color whenever you’re here, you make it beautiful. I know lots of people say that their brother/sister is like their best friend and vice-versa, well I don’t. Simply because friends and siblings are two different chapters in a life. Friends may come and go, but siblings stay forever. Family knows you inside out, and they love and accept you faults, disgrace, failure and all. I had to grow up to realize that. Your blood brother, your blood!!. And blood is thicker than any other damn existing liquid . Nothing and no one can ever change that. I remember that day, I said I hated you and that I wanted you to leave.

You left, finally!
Before I know it you’ll be lost somewhere along the Pyramids of Egypt and the Collosseum of Rome, Deserts of UAE and the Alps of Switzerland, you’ll cross the Pacific Ocean and the Atlantic, and one day you’ll probably stare out into the open and far-fetched oceans and think of home. For that moment I need you to know, I miss you.
You left. And as I walked down the street today, my absent-minded tears hit the ground, because you left a void, at home and in my heart. You took that elusive beauty you have in you, with you. I sat alone at home listening to music and I stared around, somewhere deep inside just expecting you to come bounding in and watch TV with me. I ran on the treadmill and sort of awaited the moment when you’d come and run on the next one and fiddle with mine and try to get me to lose balalnce. You were so much fun. I watched Bones without you today. And now it’s so weird, because everyone’s asleep and I’m writing this and crying, because I know your alone and on your own now. I know that it gets lonely now, I didn’t know then, I was a kid.
In two months I’ll be legal, and you won’t be there to celebrate with me. Another Christmas and New Year will go by without you. You left me one of your priciest and most loved possessions. I did have my eye on it for quite sometime. And we both know that by the time you return, it may be long gone, you’ll scream at me, I’ll fight back, but at the end of the day we both know that you’ll still love me, because that’s what family is all about. That’s what you are about. It’s almost as if I forget, you have a life. A wise person once said, ’Distance makes the heart grow fonder’, maybe he was right. A million hugs and kisses will never be enough to let you go.

You keep going away, everytime, and I know that in time I will have to let go of you as you make a life of your own. The only hope I lean against, is the fact that I know you will keep coming back, if ever I need you I know you will sail the deepest oceans, and if I need a shoulder to cry on, I know I ALWAYS have you, and you have me. Because that’s what we have between us FOREVER,Absent-Minded love!